Of Hopes And Ashes !!

Seriously..i hav never stopped loving u.. or hav i ?? i dont know !! This controversial question dont seem to leave me for ages now......And i don't seem to find an answer to this !! tried hard ,, but.. all in vain ...Explored all my mind..blanked it ..but the answer was nowhere to be found.. everyday ..u knw..everyday.. i go under the traumatic sessions of your memories... From a bubble in the air to my hairstyle to my clothings to my bike to my exams...my results..my friends..my success..my failures..my happiness..my disappointments..songs..movies...my sleep..my dreams...my wishes... Why ?? why everything seems to be always keep reminding me of the fact that u r still very much part of my life,my soul... and i continuously keep trying to decline this fact !! Yaar dis is my life.. dont u understand such a simple thing..plzz let me liv my life.. u r in some corner of the world pushing me out of this world !! i want 2 liv a life completely deprived of u !! n in the current scenerio u seem to end all my efforts for the desired result !! is there any way out for me .. its just because of you i have never been able to move on in my life !! i hav tried to find alternative sources of happiness...but nothing seemed to hav worked !! in the midst of my lovely friends i somehow manage to escape from your shadow.. but everynow n then ur memories seem to run faster than me n catch up wit me in every possible corner that i have tried to hide in !! i dnt knw why ?? but i find it a bit difficult and wrong at the same time to move on !! i just can't... yaar i want 2 liv..liv a life that is not full of these melodramatic sessions... but rather its should be u..making my life a rhythmic endless poem .. U r happy or not ,, i don't know that.. but like the sun is to earth..u r to me..sole source of the ultimate light !! and right now u r present in me in only two forms ... FORM... OF HOPES AND ASHES !!!