Wish this Mind Grows.....

Ever since you went missing from my Life ( or rather I should say, U had no other choice but to do so) my happiness seems to have gone into a shell. I often wonder what we (or rather I, u did your best) could have done extra just to make this world believe that Love was alone sufficient for our love to survive for a lifetime. Were the norms, the rituals, the religious crap that came up every time we talked about living together more important than the love, connection, attachment, feelings we shared for so long? I don't think so !! And to add to it we were left with no options at all. The only one available were either to go for our happiness and make everyone else around us choleric, enraged and sad or make everyone else around happy and live with a sense of incompleteness, live in a smoldering state for whole of our lives. We did choose the latter option only to realize later distances can hurt in a much more harsh manner than we can even think of. They just changed the way you see your life. Mornings never seem to be bright and sunny as before. Afternoons are always alone though how crowded one may be . Evenings are not romantic and Night, night seems to be the perfect reason to ponder over the best and worst part of memories.

At this point also, I can only question myself. When society decides that two people are eligible to live with each other for their whole life (Or say, are eligible to get married) what all factors does it consider. I don’t know what’s the top priority but I now know love is the last. I always thought it was the other way around. I just think where I went wrong. Since childhood, I was taught that all religions, all casts were equal in all aspects and in sacred book of every religion it is written that its our duty to spread love in this world,. But nobody told me these learning were very ambiguous in nature and there were terms and conditions attached to it. Nobody told me that these learning were not meant for practical implications. My dubiousness is just that why to teach something to tyro minds that cannot be followed in a practical world. I still find it very stupefying that people think that being of same religion, same caste, same financial status guarantees happiness for two people. Had somebody, in my childhood , taught me that when you decide to love someone make sure that person is of same social pinnacle in all aspects I wouldn't have done this mistake. Yes at this stage I tend to agree with the much plaudit view that my love was a mistake. Mistake because it will hurt us much more than the pleasant memories can heal.

The pain that reflects in your voice just breaks me down. I don't know who to blame for it. I wish I could go back in time and change the way our relation shaped up. I would not say delete because I certainly cant afford missing you from my life. It was your presence that made me a better person in all aspects. And I believe If a mistake can reap you such benefits then that mistake is worth doing it. Amid all this state of cloudiness surround my thoughts, and I am too confused regarding my understanding of human relations. Some years down the line when I am at the stage of imparting knowledge and giving advises to the younger lot what do I tell them? That before you love anyone measure that person on social parameters, make sure that persons fits into that criteria, and if yes then why not go ahead. But after all such calculations is there any space left for Love? If you trust acclaimed perceptions, then don't worry love will eventually happen. Just that it will be there in some other form. Sacrifice and compromise are the new synonyms for Love, I guess. First you sacrifice your love to keep everyone else happy and then you compromise for rest of your life, again, to keep everyone else happy.

Eventually time heals everything and at some point or other, like many others, I will console myself by saying that may be it was destined this way only. At the same time I seriously wish you can move out of this pain, I can break out of this shell, Wish I could ever Love again, . Wish someday people will believe that we were a pair handpicked by God and it was them who made the mistake...Not Us..... Love can never be a Mistake because it's some thing God also wants us to do. I Wish someday my mind can grow out of your memories ..... and I wish.. someday.... this Society grows out of the pretentious beliefs that it is based upon..